January 31, 2014

It's Time

It is on! I am ready for my boys to win this weekend!
I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Me too sign guy, me too!
OH and don't hate me for my fun hashtags! Join me!

January 30, 2014

Your Transaction in the ER

So as most of you know from reading this blog, I am a nurse. While in school, I did my specialty semester in the Emergency Room. This was a whole semester after all your clinicals where you were put in a specialty and you worked full time as a nurse there. I loved my semester in the ER. It was fun, fast paced, and I learned a lot. 

Anyway, while working full time school was most def not over! Nope, you essentially had to do a thesis on a topic that was not proven by evidence based practice. Blah blah blah....I did mine on pain management....specifically in ERs.

I cannot take credit for this, but I did reference this letter from an ER doctor in my paper. How to get pain medications quickly and efficiently in the ER.

I am not going to lecture you about the dangers of narcotic pain medicines. We both know how addictive they are: you because you know how it feels when you don't have your vicodin, me because I've seen many many many people just like you. However, there are a few things I can tell you that would make us both much happier. By following a few simple rules our little clinical transaction can go more smoothly and we'll both be happier because you get out of the ER quicker. 

The first rule is be nice to the nurses. They are underpaid, overworked, and have a lot more influence over your stay in the ER than you think. When you are tempted to treat them like shit because they are not the ones who write the rx, remember: I might write for you to get a shot of 2mg of dilaudid, but your behavior toward the nurses determines what percent of that dilaudid is squirted onto the floor before you get your shot. 

Been there, said this...

The second rule is pick a simple, non-dangerous, (non-verifiable) painful condition which doesn't require me to do a four thousand dollar work-up in order to get you out of the ER. If you tell me that you headache started suddenly and is the 'worst headache of your life' you will either end up with a spinal tap or signing out against medical advice without an rx for pain medicine. The parts of the story that you think make you sound pitiful and worthy of extra narcotics make me worry that you have a bleeding aneurysm. And while I am 99% sure its not, I'm not willing to lay my license and my families future on the line for your ass. I also don't want to miss the poor bastard who really has a bleed, so everyone with that history gets a needle in the back. Just stick to a history of your 'typical pain that is totally the same as I usually get' and we will both be much happier. 

So true!

The third rule (related to #2) is never rate your pain a 10/10. 10/10 means the worst pain you could possibly imagine. I've seen people in a 10/10 pain and you sitting there playing tetris on your cell phone are not in 10/10 pain. 10/10 pain is an open fracture dangling in the wind, a 50% body surface deep partial thickness burn, or the pain of a real cerebral aneurysm. Even when I passed a kidney stone, the worst pain I had was probably a 7. And that was when I was projectile vomiting and crying for my mother. So stick with a nice 7 or even an 8. That means to me you are hurting by you might not be lying. (See below.) 

My thoughts exactly.

The fourth rule is never ever ever lie to me about who you are or your history. If you come to the ER and give us a fake name so we can't get your old records I will assume you are a worse douchetard than you really are. More importantly though it will really really piss me the fuck off. Pissing off the guy who writes the rx you want does not work to your advantage. 

I see...

The fifth rule is don't assume I am an idiot. I went to medical school. That is certainly no guarantee that I am a rocket scientist I know (hell, I went to school with a few people who were a couple of french fries short of a happy meal.) However, I also got an ER residency spot which means I was in the top quarter or so of my class. This means it is a fair guess I am a reasonably smart guy. So if I read your triage note and 1) you list allergies to every non-narcotic pain medicine ever made, 2) you have a history of migraines, fibromyalgia, and lumbar disk disease, and 3) your doctor is on vacation, only has clinic on alternate Tuesdays, or is dead, I am smart enough to read that as: you are scamming for some vicodin. That in and of itself won't necessarily mean you don't get any pain medicine. Hell, the fucktards who list and allergy to tylenol but who can take vicodin (which contains tylenol) are at least good for a few laughs at the nurses station. However, if you give that history everyone in the ER from me to the guy who mops the floor will know you are a lying douchetard who is scamming for vicodin. (See rule # 4 about lying.) 

The sixth and final rule is wait your fucking turn. If the nurse triages you to the waiting room but brings patients who arrived after you back to be treated first, that is because this is an EMERGENCY room and they are sicker than you are. You getting a fix of vicodin is not more important than the 6 year old with a severe asthma attack. Telling the nurse at triage that now your migraine is giving you chest pain since you have been sitting a half hour in the waiting area to try to force her into taking you back sooner is a recipe for making all of us hate you. Even if you end up coming back immediately, I will make it my mission that night to torment you. You will not get the pain medicine you want under any circumstances. And I firmly believe that if you manipulate your way to the back and make a 19 year old young woman with an ectopic pregnancy that might kill her in a few hours wait even a moment longer to be seen, I should be able to piss in a glass and make you drink it before you leave the ER. 

No kidding!

So if you keep these few simple rules in mind, our interaction will go much more smoothly. I don't really give a shit if I give 20 vicodins to a drug-seeker. Before I was burnt out in the ER I was a hippy and I would honestly rather give that to ten of you guys than make one person in real pain (unrelated to withdrawal) suffer. However, if you insist on waving a fluorescent orange flag that says 'I am a drug seeker' and pissing me and the nurses off with your behavior, I am less likely to give you that rx. You don't want that. I don't want that. So lets keep this simple, easy, and we'll all be much happier. 

Your friendly neighborhood ER doctor
(and Lauren!!)

January 29, 2014

Blogging Buddies

Well just yesterday I was saying that my life intertwines with lots of people who did not sign up to have themselves pop up on the world wide web. But I have really made so many great friends through blogging and I hope to make more. I honestly spend way more time reading most of your blogs than I do writing for my own. And then I am the worst at checking my email and have given some of you the worst one liner responses back possible. Let's change that! 

Last night I got to have some vid chat time with one of my fave bloggers. It really is so much fun to have someone you can plan vid chats with and text and just get to know so much better than past the post of a blog!
Yeah typical Tuesday night! Alli is not impressed with my animation.... #typical

Alli is one you want to get to know! 
She is mad talented at blog design. (Take a look at mine if you don't believe me!)

She is beautiful. (enough said)

She is mad smart. (shit she is at MIT!)
She is nice. (And gluten free. First time I had her over I forgot this and basically all she could eat was the guacamole I made. She was so nice about it and we have really bonded over a couple of good batches of Guac.)

Oh and her jewelry....WOW.

Here are my pieces I have by her. I even got to watch her make mine!

Go show her some love!
And check me out on her blog today beating her hard in a football jewelry war!

1) Bright Orange Statement Necklace by Crave Jewels
2) Gemstone Statement Necklace by missbatch
3) Orange Quartz Necklace by Gem Lounge Jewelry
4) Orange and Aqua Dangle Earrings by Rustic Gem Jewelry
5) Sleek Carnelian Bangle Bracelet by Liv Jewellery
6) Carnelian Beaded Bangle by Eleria Jewelry
7) Sunburst Orange Pendant Necklace by Wrenn Jewelry
8) Orange Briolette Necklace by Annali's Jewelry

Want to join in on the Super Bowl war? Join us using the hashtag #BloggerBowlBattle on Instagram and tell us who your favorite team is!

January 28, 2014

I Guess a Baby is something to post about...

I feel like lately every time I have sat down to write a post lately, everything came out whiny and mean.
If you can't find something nice to say, don't say anything at all right?

Eh...oh well. I don't want silence on my blog since after all this is my space to be me. I think it was because I really didn't know what to write about lately. Getting to personal is dangerous. It isn't like other people close to me signed up to have their lives on the internet and their lives intertwine with mine.

Plus I just haven't really done much of anything besides work and watch re-runs of Modern Family.
No need to alert the press on that one.

But I really like working a lot. I think it is because I am good there. I have control there. Or feel like I do anyway...a false sense of control. I still have more control there than I feel like I do with my waistline at the moment.

I have realized how big every year is now for me. I feel very happy to be where I am in life right now even though parts of it are not how I envisioned it.

So far my biggest thing this year has been buying a car!!

I am so excited about my new baby!!
A "baby", work, modern family re-runs, food, and sleep. These are the days of our lives...

I bet I scared some people scrolling through the blog titles on their feeds with my title ;-)
Happy Tuesday!

January 27, 2014

Staff Meetings

Welcome Monday morning...
Eh just kidding.

As a nurse, you would not immediately think staff meetings. But I have them. At least one every day! I am a nurse in management so now I know what all of you guys who go to meetings deal with. For those of you who have never been in a staff meeting, it is pretty self explanatory and not all that glamorous....

First you walk in. Sit down. There may be some stale doughnuts for the taking.

They announce a new change. You need to pretend you are awake and care about it. 

You get through your part of the meeting trying to leave unscathed.

Then everyone else talks and talks and talks and you and your co-worker look at each other. This is when you decide this meeting is long and boring and take part in your own private conversation. 
A Real Housewife Reaction Gif For Every Situation

Then someone leaves early thanks to a "previously scheduled engagement". Blah blah blah. I am jealous. Take me with you?!

Then the meetings ends
And you realize you gotta get back to work!

Happy Monday everyone! Today I just need to remember stale doughnuts are extra calories...

January 17, 2014

Positive vs. Negative

I found this pin on pinterest and it got me thinking. What is the biggest difference in the benefit of promoting what we love instead of what we hate?

great quote

We should be putting more positive words and thoughts into the world instead of negative ones. Focusing on the negative just doesn't raise the bar. It creates a world in which we are just getting by.

Here are some the benefits vs. risks of positive vs. negative. 

In our world: On the news every night I hear negative stories going in our town and our world. It makes me sad and scared. I like hearing the stories despite that all that people are volunteering, cancer is being fought, and other positive stories that inspire and empower!

In our friendships/relationships: Gossip and bad mouthing. Never ends up well for you and you will end up hurting someone. Rise above. Encourage others by talking about the good people have done. Not saying that I am not guilty of some gossip, but I think we could all do better to remember when the line crosses to gossip vs. just talking about things that are happening. 

With our work: Giving compliments and positive feedback to my employees and telling my patient's and their families how amazing a nurse, CNA, doctor, etc...is much better than criticizing the bad ones. Save your energy.

In our blogging: This is one of the reasons I love blogging, I am able to share positive things I find, positive things in my life and a positive group of girls I feel so close to!

I strive to be a positive person but sometimes what that looks like in my head is just making sure that I'm not being negative. Which is actually just neutral. Here is wishing y'all a happy and positive weekend!!

January 16, 2014

I Love Cookies

Remember how I said I am not punctual?
Well I am just now sharing my favorite recipe for Christmas!

For my work friends and my guests over the holidays, I have made my favorite cookies. A tried and true classic! They were the original winner of the Pillsbury Bake off in the 1960s. They are easy, yummy, and pretty! Now I understand with the advent of Pinterest people are creatively trying to outdo this cookie, but I don't think the original recipe can be outdone!

You need:
1/2 cup of butter, softened (not margarine) 
2/4 cup peanut butter
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 egg
2 Tbsp. milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1 and 1/3 cups flour
1 tsp. baking soda
1/4 tsp. salt
More sugar
And kisses...

Then you....
Beat the butter together with the peanut butter
Then add the sugar and brown sugar and mix again.
Then add the milk, egg, and vanilla...and you guessed it. Mix it.
Add the flour, baking soda, and salt. I put the baking soda and salt on top of my flour. Trick I learned from my mom that I guess absorbs it all better. Then gradually beat it into the mixture.

Cover it in the fridge so it can chill. While you are doing that, you can unwrap the kisses. The milk chocolate one are 22 calories each. Helped remind me not to eat them all while I was waiting for the dough to chill.

Then you can shape them into balls.
Then roll them in the sugar and place on an ungreased cookie sheet. Trust me, they will not stick. Bake those balls at 350 degrees for 8-10 minutes at or until lightly browned.

Take them out and immediately press a chocolate kiss into the center of each cookie. The cookie will slightly crack slightly around the edges. Let the cookies stand on the sheets with the kisses for 3-4 minutes and then remove them to a wire rack to let them cool.

What is your favorite Christmas treat to make?

January 15, 2014

Barbecue Beef Calzones

I have been sporadic with blogging as of late. Work, work, work, everyone has heard me say that.
I got lots of football taking my weekends up...GO BRONCOS!
And my baby Skip is now off to a better place.

I will always remember her as a beautiful, loving puppy.
Now she can forever frolic.

That being said, I am unfortunately an emotional eater. Here is a good comfort recipe.
I think garbage bread is better than this one. But this is still a good one!

Barbecue Beef Calzones

1 can of refrigerated pizza crust
3/4 cup of barbecue sauce
Shredded mozzarella cheese
1/3 lb of ground beef

Heat oven to 400.
Pat out pizza dough into a rectangle and cut pieces into thirds and then halves.
Mix together sauce, cheese and beef cooked, drained and shredded.
Add mixture into pizza dough.
Fold over pizza dough and seal the edges with a fork.
Place them on a baking sheet sprayed with cooking spray.
Bake 15 minutes or until golden brown.


January 13, 2014

New Year, Already late

Well I guess we can cross of being punctual off of a resolution for me since I am talking about the new year 13 days after the new year has begun. Whoops. 

Isn't it crazy how we can look back a year ago and realize how much everything has changed? The amount of people that have left your life, entered, and stayed. The memories you won't forget and the moments you wish you did. Everything. It is just crazy how all that happened in just one year.

January- I ran my first and so far only 5K. One a year the plan I guess? I also tried to remember that I wanted to lose some weight but I wasn't very good at doing it. I also tried being a funny blogger here, here, and here. Funniest thing is that blogger decided it didn't like some of my images there. Don't know why they have up and disappeared...Oh and I made some resolutions. I think I truly and fully accomplished five of them.

February- I enjoyed Super Bowl Sunday. Although I hope I enjoy it more this year because that will mean the Broncos are playing! Go Denver!! I also recapped Kevin and I living in Tucson together for a year on our journey together!

March- I had a great time in Vail. I also got a little nostalgic about my sisters.

April- I hosted my first ever holiday: Easter. Then I posted my leftover recipes. I participated in a virtual baby shower for my girl Tiffany.

May- It was one year with Kevin. We celebrated by going to San Antonio and Austin. I gave him a pretty creative gift if I do say so myself. I We also went and celebrated Kevin's sister graduating from high school. I also realized that I am getting old and that my second career move is to play in the NFL.

June- I got very mushy about my blogging since I was celebrating my one year blogging anniversary too! I got even more mushy seeing two of my favorite people getting married! I also celebrated my birthday, Gilmore Girls style on the blog, and one of my girlfriends bachelorette weekend! May and June seem to be pretty big months for me. I also shared my favorite comfort food recipe and deep cleaned my house!

July- Kevin and I celebrated our engagement anniversary and Fourth of July in style! I also celebrated Christmas in July.

August- I got super excited for football! I also shared my travel essentials and enjoyed some concerts and a wedding!

September- I found a way that worked for me to save money, I talked about living with a man, I kept enjoying my football and food, and I talked about a struggle we have all had.

October- I talked about what should have already been invented in 2013,  I talked about what does not happen after you get married, gave some interview tips, and felt fall for one weekend.

November- It was Kevin's birthday, I bragged on how much I love him! I took Thanksgiving and my sister's 18 birthday off work and spent it with them. I talked about being happy and also talked about death. I gave my first freebie and had my bye week in Fantasy Football.

 December- I started a new Christmas tradition, looked back on Christmases past, and I hosted Christmas. I also introduced the blog world to Gus

As for the year to come, here are some of the things I would like to resolve for:

Every day wisdom for fulfilled life.

Above all, this year will be to create a life full of health, happiness, and love for myself and my family.
Happy New Year!!

January 7, 2014

The Last Name

I always ALWAYS knew that I would take my husband's last name.
And no I would not hyphenate it.

(I would feel like an outsider from my kids and their father having the same last name. Plus my last name would be 28 letters long not including they hyphen...what a mouthful. Plus that would be way to long a name for my mailbox)

Generally at birth your last name is your dad's last name. For me, this was the most important man in my life at the time.

Then you run along in this game called life and you find this guy you want to marry. You choose him. You choose him to be the person you spend the rest of your life with.

When I chose him, it was natural for me to want to take his last name.

Plus as my dad said in the most beautiful toast I have ever heard, my husband takes full responsibility for me. He is now the most important man in my life.

Now why am I telling you all this?
Because on my Facebook account I have both my maiden and married name. 
I did this so people could still find me if they didn't know my married last name.
Now I have changed it to just my married name.

When some people send me mail (including some of Kevin's family) they send it to me with a hyphenated last name. I did not hyphenate my last name. I took his and will give his to our children.

What did you guys do to your name with your personal Facebook? 
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January 5, 2014

Body Changes

I have a nick name, Lardy Lauren. I have always felt that I have struggled with my weight since puberty. Now I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life. It has been so disheartening to step on the scale.

I know I have a lot of work to do to get my body back.

Yes, please!

I've been in a lot of situations where I'm sitting with a group of girls and the discussion turns to dieting. My friends will chat excitedly about this new diet they are trying, going on about how so-and-so that they know lost so many pounds in a month! They swap tips, and by that point in the conversation I'm feeling really out of place, so I kind of tune out. Until somebody asks me what diets I've tried. To which I reply, "Low Carb, but I won't diet anymore."


That's when I get the stink eye from almost everyone at the table, as if I've broken some essential part of the girl code that says it's mandatory to diet. It's even worse if we're at a restaurant and the server comes by to ask who wants dessert. The other girls laugh nervously and glance around at each other, daring each other to be the one who orders dessert. Meanwhile, my hand shoots up because HECK YES I want dessert! 

My life is a constant battle...

Now, I'm definitely not knocking dieting in general. If you like to diet, super cool for you! It may well be that you just have more will power than I do. Dieting is just absolutely not for me, and here's why:

I love food and am miserable when I try and restrict myself to what I can eat.

I believe in eating healthy. It is too hard to keep a diet going for a prolonged period of time. Therefore you experience weight surges.

And then a lot of maintaining a good weight is exercising. Half of it has nothing to do with eating.



It is incredibly possible to lose weight and be healthy without dieting. I'm determined to get at a happy weight again, and I feel great because I eat to feel good. 97% of the time that means eating to fuel my body in the most optimal way. But that 3% of the time, you bet I will be chowing down on some fresh baked chocolate chip cookies, because that is what makes my soul happy. :)

January 3, 2014

Here is to a Calm Weekend!

This week was challenging, in a therapeutic way. I always put too much on my plate, so I stress about...nearly everything. I have a way to alleviate some of that stress, I write lists. I include anything and everything that's on my mind. The lists are often pages long, filled with a few important things and a whole lot of trivial nonsense. But the goal is to simply get it on paper so that my sleep is more restful. 

Lists allow me to refocus my energy, relax, and most importantly, to gain some perspective. My schedule is undeniably packed especially when I am at work, but my list of worries is seemingly insignificant in comparison to larger things like my relationships, the health of my loved ones, and my overall happiness.

So here's to welcoming the weekend with a renewed sense of ease and gratitude.

Oh and probably less of me around the blog world unfortunately. 
I am not kidding. Work is crazy right now and I kinda don't have a life outside of it right now.
But I will still pop in cause blogging is therapeutic to me and gotta stay healthy in this new year!!

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