I think my wedding planning experience started out like every other new bride to be, with a proposal. Once the elation and phone calls calmed down, there I was going right into wedding planning. It isn't easy. There is a lot of great information out there, but none of that information seemed to focus on real people having real problems. You would always get the line: "things may go wrong, but it will still be the best day of your life and afterwards you won't sweat the things that went wrong." To all of those blogs, forums, magazines, etc...who told me that. BOO.
Not to say that my wedding wasn't fantastic, but I wish there was more out there to reflect some honesty on things that can go wrong, the taboo subjects, the uncomfortable bits of advice that no one talks about or you were told and didn't believe. Hopefully this will help another bride to be. Here are my 10 things:
1. During the ceremony you may not be able to get the ring on your spouses finger. Stress, nervousness, heat...they all ensure you have swollen fingers. Play it off. Oh and ladies, my advice: I wore my engagement ring on my other finger so that my left ring finger could be less swollen and easier for the band to go on. Oh and speaking of the ceremony, there may be weather if you are having it outside. Thank gosh I had my hair up! I only wish my girls did too. (I had wind)
2. You really won't care about the little things. Really, but Lauren didn't you just say BOO to the people who told you that you won't care?!?" Yeah I did! But I say that to after you are married. Not during. Surprisingly there will be a moment where you are in the moment and there's no longer anything you can do to change the things that have gone wrong and therefore it no longer matters. I was surprised at how little I cared about the things when they didn't work out on my wedding day.
3. But after you will care about the big stuff. And something will go wrong. Mine was my poor mom getting sick, the hotel flooding, the flowers being small, and my photographer being a bitch. Yep I just said that word FOR SURE. Still a little sad/mad to this day.
4. You won't look good the next morning. I didn't even drink except for to toast two sips and I looked like murder! You stay up late and don't get a lot of sleep and therefore you will look it. I wish I didn't have to rush off to the honeymoon, because you will be filled with emotion and wanting to stay and spend more time guiltily with people that have flown from everywhere to see you. Plus there is the stress of making sure you were an organized packer!
5. Things you would think are no brainers, may not be no brainers. Write these things down and give them to, well in my case not my photographer because I did and she just failed....but write down and tell people if you want them to be in pictures, because what is obvious to you may not be obvious to them and they might just take off. Thankfully my wedding and reception was all in the same place so getting people wasn't too hard. Oh and all that craziness is another reason I highly recommend a first look!
6. Your future husband may not get your stress. The man you are supposed to count on to be your rock, may not get why you are so stressed out when setting up, at your rehearsal dealing with last minute things, etc...Don't pick a fight, because it won't come out pretty when you are stressed. Just say okay and move on with what you need to do. The grrom isn't expected to care about the wedding. It is a standard for a reason, just get used to it.
7. After the wedding, the spending doesn't stop. There is still the wedding dress cleaning and preserving that costs about $200-$300, there is all the postage for thank you notes, oh and the honeymoon!
8. Give yourself more than enough time on the big day. Things will run behind schedule no matter how punctual a person you are. You are also counting on other people and that is another piece to the puzzle. Basically there are too many pieces that need to fall into place for you to ever be on time. I felt way frazzled and rushed during the makeup, get dressed, and take pictures, that I really didn't get any reflection time, or time to hang out with my bridesmaids. This was because the hotel got flooded and my hair took longer than expected. Just remember if you are running late, don't freak too much. They can't start without you!
9. I didn't do a receiving line because personally I couldn't find the time and secondly, they remind me of funerals, yeah I know weird...but just remember it is a crazy busy night and you may want to consider it because the night goes by so fast and it is rude and you may regret not saying hi, thank you for coming, to every one personally.
10. Embrace everything. You will probably not be this skinny again in your life. Milk it, take lots of pictures. Embrace the less than perfect pictures. You will have no idea what you were doing, or what was going on, but you will have to imagine it was pretty awesome!
11. There is simply no words to describe how truly fast your wedding will pass. It is like an entire day in fast forward and no matter what you do, there is no way to prepare for the speed. You will have a handful of clear moments you can call back on, and the rest of the memories you will gain from your photos and videos.