Will you ski again? After tearing my ACL, this was the question I got the most. How did I tear my ACL you ask? My husband and I went up to visit my family in Ohio and we decided to all go skiing in icy New York. Since I am used to all the great snow out west, I started skiing in the terrain park. You see where this can go wrong...you see I am a terminal intermediate. I will never be an amazing ski pro, so why I took a small little jump, I will never know.
Just for the record, I would have been fine, but there was a hole at the bottom of the landing. My husband who is an advanced skiier even slipped in it. Ugh.
I knew when I got back up and tried to step into my ski, that I couldn't. I knew it was bad. I didn't have any strength. I don't even remember if I was in pain, I just knew that I had a road ahead of me. Turns out I was right. I had endless hours of PT, surgery, making Kevin follow me hand and foot, etc...
And then there were things I could have never imagined in front of me. The nausea and itchy feeling since the pain medications didn't agree with me, the guilt of inactivity I had when I had a good knee, etc...
I declined going to the hospital or seeking any medical treatment while back east. I was very careful and did a lot of ice and elevation and waited to fly home and see my PCP to get an appointment for an MRI. I can't explain it, I just knew what was wrong and knew there wasn't anything anyone could do until I got home anyway.
Monday, I talked about how much I had learned about my marriage during my recovery, but I also learned a fair bit about myself.
Three big things I learned along my journey:
I am patient, but now I am far more patient. So is Kevin after worrying and putting up with me.
A life event like this is an emotional roller coaster. I did not cry during any process (including the actual tear itself) until a couple days after my surgery sitting on the toilet wondering how I got to feeling like this. Poor Kevin didn't know what had happened, but glamorous or not, let yourself feel the way you need to feel.
Don't worry. Yes, I did keep skiing after my injury. Yes, you will be you again. It is easy in the situation to think that you will never be normal again, but you will and there is no reason you shouldn't be. Freak accidents happen. I sustained a severe ankle sprain walking down a flight of stairs. I have also broken my pinky toe by walking to breakfast. Accept that life is freak and hard sometimes and be strong and keep doing you.
So if you have been knocked off the horse in life right now, know that you are not alone. Life is a learning curve.